Racist McDonald's Napkins Cause Black Man To Stop Working

During the Oscars, McDonald's rolled out one of the best ads featuring black people you are likely to see. Just a couple of black dudes working hard without a basketball in their hands. It was nice.

But in real life, a new lawsuit alleges that McDonald's employees don't like black people who are messy eaters...

A black man, Webster Lucas, says that he went into a McDonald's, ordered a Quarter Pounder Deluxe, but only received one napkin to go along with his meal. That's not racist, it's just cheap. I don't know that Dowager Crawley could maintain proper etiquette while eating a Quarter Pounder with just one napkin.

Lucas went to the counter to get more napkins. But the man behind the counter refused. That also doesn't strike me as immediately racist, though a McDonald's with a one napkin per customer hard-cap is probably disgustingly filthy.

Lucas alleges what happened next was racist. As first reported by TMZ:

According to his lawsuit, Lucas — who is black — then retorted, "I should have went to eat at the Jack-in-the-Box because I didn't come here to argue over napkins. I came here to eat."

That's when Lucas says things got racist — claiming the manager (a Mexican-American) mumbled something about "you people."

Lucas subsequently emailed the general manager to complain — insisting he couldn't work because of the "undue mental anguish" he was suffering as a result of the napkin debacle — and says he was insultingly offered free burgers in return.

Lucas wants to super size instead — $1.5 million.

Yes, you read that correctly, Lucas claims the mental anguish from napkin-gate has prevented him from working. You can read his full complaint on Above the Law. It's a gem. Lucas says that he feared for his safety because the employe's behavior "reminded [him] of a gang member who hated blacks." Which actually sounds pretty racist to me... why does the Mexican napkin-Nazi have to be in a gang, Lucas?

But, since we're here, I'll just point out that there are no genetic or cultural markers that indicate that "you people" need fewer napkins than "my people" or even "those people over there." Napkins are color-blind.

Though... have you noticed that they always come in white? What's up with that? Are they suggesting that a black napkin wouldn't be as absorbent as a white one? BLACK ABSORBS ALL THE COLORS. Somebody get Bounty on the phone!

Angry Customer Sues McDonald's For Millions After Receiving One Napkin, Supersized Shame With Meal [Above the Law]