Lest you think that only Millennials and minorities are concerned about ouchy words, here’s a story about a 61-year-old man who is suing because his ex-wife calls him names while cutting him an alimony check.

Francis Wagner Jr. is suing his ex-wife, Diane Wagner, because she writes mean things in the “memo” line when she writes him his alimony check. Diane pays Frank $744 a month, but she eases her burden with insults like: “bum,” “loser,” and, “FOAD” (“F**k Off And Die”).

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Francis claims that these words have worsened his heart condition... and his cancer. He’s suing for intentional infliction of emotional distress.

In fairness, Diane is being a dick. A funny, funny dick. She’s being petty and should probably just remit the checks without comment. I think if a man were sending alimony checks to his ex-wife with notes like “gold digging bitch” and “stupid whore,” this story would have tripped the internet outrage wire.

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But it still wouldn’t be illegal. It’s not illegal to insult someone. Cancer is not the Dark Side, it does not grow stronger on insults and ridicule.

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If it were me, I’d take the $744 and buy an attractive escort and a photo shoot, then send some tasteful “thank you” cards to Diane for all of her support. I’d like to think that at 61 years old, I wouldn’t be running to court to balm my hurt feelings.