Next, on a very special episode of House Hunters, a young woman looks for a new home after an exploding neighbor damaged her condo.
Sorry, I'm not allowed to say "exploding." A Florida court has ruled that a dead body exploding does not count as an "explosion" for the purposes of homeowner's insurance.
When reached for comment, the Joker said: "I just want my phone call."
Judy Rodrigo's next-door neighbor died. Apparently it took a long time for the body to be found — I suppose the smell of decomposing old people is common enough in Florida that nobody noticed. The body eventually exploded, causing damage to Rodrigo's Jupiter, FL, condo. The Orlando Sun-Sentinal reports: "Rodrigo also got an affidavit from a doctor who said the "internal contents" of the "woman's body explosively expanded and leaked."
Rodrigo's homeowner's insurance covered "explosions," but State Farm said that somehow this explosion wasn't one of the covered explosions even though the term "explosion" is not defined in the insurance contract.
A Florida appeals court agreed with the insurance company, because we live in a world where "insurance" is designed to screw you over when you need it the most. Judge Melanie G. May wrote:
"Rather than stretching common sense, the trial court correctly gave the term 'explosion' its 'plain and unambiguous meaning as understood by the man on the street,'" May wrote. "The plain meaning of the term 'explosion' does not include a decomposing body's cells explosively expanding, causing leakage of bodily fluids."
Common sense, you say? This decision flies in the face of common sense. If we accept that the word "explosion" does not cover the explosion of a human body, then we are living in a world where homeowners must get special, human-body-explosion insurance. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE TO ANYBODY? A Florida court just ruled that for you to be legally insured against "explosions," it has to be an event that could be in a Michael Bay movie.
This isn't common sense. This is Spinal Tap.