I've got to think cases like this happen because old men go bald... and their brain cells escape from their scalps.

The Oregon Court of Appeals overturned the assault conviction of Derrick James Lewis. He had been convicted of assaulting his wife by pulling out her hair.

Not pulling her hair, but pulling OUT her hair, in clumps. From The Oregonian:

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Although the wife of 49-year-old Derrick James Lewis was overheard screaming and yelling, "Ouch. Stop it!" in December 2011, the appeals court ruled that pulling out a person's hair isn't necessarily assault. It said assault requires proof of "physical impairment" or "substantial pain."

For those playing along at home, yes, the court is saying that pulling out someone's hair doesn't necessarily hurt them enough to sustain an assault conviction. Or at least that Lewis' wife didn't prove that she was in substantial pain when her husband pulled out clumps of her hair.

For all we know, the hair was asking to be pulled out, I guess.

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